You Think You Can Dance, Hmm?
by Lumberry
Summary: Naruto is interested in violins, Neji loves to dance the macarena except he calls it the Nejireno, and Sasuke can produce shears out of midair. Correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't they at least a bit OOC here? And aren't you curious? Yes, you!
1. The Dance? Where?

Okay. This is the "updated" Chapter One. Technically, it's the new Chapter One, and it's shorter and much more different...because my OLD one got DELETED. I don't know how, I don't know why, I don't know who or WHAT did it, but any ways, it **sucks**. The new chapter.

So...the usual spheal. A real-live incident that happened to me propelled me to write something about it, so here's the fanfic. I mean, obviously it won't be exactly like the real-live incident because the CHARACTERS are apparently different (except Neji! He's always real!! Always, always, always!)

(insert Neji here)

**Neji**: It "**sucks**?" Use a better adjective.

**Lumberry**: Well, I don't know how, because my brain was sucked out due to your Jyuuken.

**Neji**: (starts laughing).

**Naruto**: O.O

**Lumberry**: Hey, you're not supposed to come out until Chapter One!

**Neji**: (stops laughing) (does the creepy English voice) This IS chapter one.

**Lumberry**: And why did you start...

**Neji**: T.T

**Lumberry**: ...what.

**Naruto**: …WHAT?

**Neji**: It's obvious.

**Naruto**: Why?

**Lumberry**: Yeah, WHY?

**Neji**: Lumberry - doesn't - own - Naruto - and - start - the - freaking - chapter.

**Lumberry**: Hey! The disclaimer can only take up two hundred and twenty words so you can still say something you know, Neji! There are eight words left, so you can actually keep -

* * *

Lumberry skipped down the snowy sidewalk, ponytail bouncing, violin swinging, careful to avoid any dangerous slippery substances... 

She head a call behind her, turned around - and the klutzy writeress promptly slipped in doing so.

"HEY! Is that a _violin_?!"

She got up. "Yeah," she snapped at the blond ninja - what was his name again? - who was grinning cheekily. "Yeah...so?"

"Let me see!"

"No." But it was too late; he took the violin and unzipped its case. Easily the top opened and he stared down - amidst an empty pack of Teddy Grams and a pair of black socks was a brown, dusty, full-sized violin.

"What are you - " She towered over him, glaring, and then claimed her instrument and coninuted down the road, her ponytail not-so-bouncy now.

"Hey - " Naruto started. "Where...are you going?"

Lumberry did't look back. Naruto heard her sigh, "The Dance Contest."

"Really?! What's the violin for?"

"The Dance Contest."

"When?"

"Um...now?" She glanced at her watch. "Crap! It's starting!" Naruto crashed into her.

"I'm late!"

"Ooookay..." he tripped and fell flat on his butt.

"You dobe." Sasuke materialized out of nowhere. Lumberry sighed and massaged her temples.

"Well, _your_ hair looks like a chicken's a - "

Sasuke stopped. "Shut up, dobe!"

"It does.

"Does not!"

Meanwhile Lumberry was searching in her pockets frantically, muttering, "Where is it? I _know_ it's here somewhere..." Finally she drew out a want. "We won't be late after all!"

Two flicks, and a, "To the Movie Theatre!"

* * *

**Neji**: That was very, oh, what was it now? SUCKY. 

**Lumberry**: It got deleted! I'm so sad!! Sadness to all of you (NaruHinaLuver, especially!!) that got their stories deleted. It's just sad.

**Neji**: Nice use of adjectives.

**Lumberry**: Well, I could be sarcastic right now, like you, but I don't feel lke typing anymore on this stupid first chapter. The second chapter is much better.

**Naruto**: BELIEVE IT!!

**All**: Review!!!

and **Neji**: Or else I'll eat your cookies.


	2. The Nejireno

Chapter One of the Randomest FanFic ever!

**Neji**: Lumberry doesn't own Naruto because she is too stupid.

**Lumberry**: No I am not! I could have written N -

**Neji**: Nope.

**Lumberry**: Whose fault was it to almost die in the middle of Sasuke's retri -

**Kakashi**: O.O SHUSH. They are NOT supposed to know.

**Naruto**: Know wh -

**Kakashi**: (looks around, places hand on Naruto's mouth) (whispers)...

Just then Chouji crashed into the movie theatre in a shopping cart. IN a shopping cart.

**Sasuke**: What the hn.

**Lumberry**: Sasuke! You're not supposed to...

**Neji**: Shut up. You're annoying. Start the hnned hnned hnning story.

**Lumberry**: T.T (annoyed voice) Okaaaaaay!

* * *

When they got to the movie theatre it was filled completely, every inch of space covered with popcorn, soda, popcorn, soda, and oh yea, ninja, from alllllll over the country... 

"Where are we supposed to sit?" grumbled Naruto.

The stage is the only part where it's not packed, and they boarded on. Instantly a deep voice yelled, "No! It's Neji's audition!"

"Huh?"

A director in a very serious, business-like pink suit looked cross, climbing over the massive crowds. "I am director Puddopsychiatriachealthcarehospital. Neji is coming out in a minute for his audition on "You Think You Can Dance, Hmm?" So clear the roads!"

"Um...There isn't a road?" pointed out Naruto, but Lumberry herded them backstage.

"Listen to the director," she growled, her violin swinging. When they were safely backstage the lights automatically dimmed, and a captivating voice rang out,

_"When I dance they call me nejireno_

_and the girls they say that I'm bueno_

_They all want me, they can't have me_

_So they all come and dance beside me_

_Move with me, jam with me_

_And if you're good I take you home with me_

_A la tuhuelca legria nejireno_

_Que tuhualpa paralla legria cosabuena_

_A la tuhuelpa legria nejireno_

_Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee,_

_nejireno_

_A-hai!"_

Lumberry peeked out, transfixed. A ninja in a purple dinosaur costume wasdoing the steps to the song -

"Huh?! NEJIrenO??" inquired Naruto loudly, and the writeress smacked him.

"Shush! Listen..."

The "Nejireno" began to

point his right arm straight forward,

palm DOWN,

lift his left heel,

DROP his left heel,

point his left arm straight forward,

palm DOWN,

lift his right heel,

DROP his left heel,

turn his right arm,

palm UP,

lift his left heel,

DROP right heel

turn his left arm,

palm UP,

lift his right heel,

DROP his left heel,

then folds his right arm,

folds left arm,

COVERS right and left ears,

place right hand,

ON the left upper arm,

lift his left heel,

DROP his right heel,

place left hand ON right upper arm

lift his right heel,

DROP his left heel,

place his rigth hand,

OVER his right hear,

lift his left heel,

DROP right heel,

place left hand,

OVER his left ear,

lift his right heel,

DROP left heel.

He started to put his RIGHT hand to LEFT hip, LEFT to RIGHT hip/ RIGHT to RIGHT hip, LEFT to

LEFT hip,

but he lost his balance and fell.

"HAHAHA!" giggled Naruto, and Lumberry smacked him, but it's too late. The Nejireno standed up quickly and turned around, glaring.

"W-what?!!"

"Nothing!" assured the writeress, pinching Naruto's left cheek so that he looked like a giant orange-polyester balloon, "Your dance was GREAT! You'll win for sure!"

Suspiciously Nejireno folded his arms. "Yea, right. I don't believe you! I don't belive you at all! With destiny, I don't b - "

He slipped and fell face-first into the crowd. Within a matter of seconds he was completely submerged in fangirls. "WE WANT NEJI!" was written across a huge poster that was 10000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 miles x 2000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 miles long.

The "We Want Neji" part covered two feet; the other 10000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 miles x 2000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 miles - 2 feet was a huge picture of Neji's -

Lumberry peeked out the curtains, then drew her head back, relieved no one was looking at them. "Come on," she whispered to Naruto and Sasuke, to leave, while -

"HEY! FANGIRLS FOR NEJIRENO??" Naruto shrieked, jealous.

They submerge Naruto, then, too, except it was to pummel him.

"It's Neji-ji-ji-reno!" a blond girl with pale eyes - badly discolored contacts, that is - screeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeched.

Sasuke tip-toed out, his eyebrows raised towards Lumberry.

"I didn't know it would be so crazy," she retorted, carrying her violin. "Let's go."

Suddenly a purple dinosaur, though beaten, badly discolored, and sporting five hundred red kisses, stood in front of them. "Oh, no," he declared, wiping off two fangirls from his legs. "You're not leaving. Since you guys made me mess up, it's only fair that you - " He pointed to Sasuke - "go as well for an audition. That's only fair."

"You - " Sasuke started, but Naruto cut him off.

"IT'S ALWAYS SASUKE! IT'S ALWAYS S - "

"Shut up, dobe."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

Nejireno shook off thirty four fangirls, looking disgusted. "Then _you_ go," he snapped to the blond-haired ninja. "It's only fair."

"I will! Believe it!"

* * *

**Neji**: ... 

**Lumberry**: It wasn't THAT bad.

**Neji**: ...

**Naruto**: Er, Neji, it really wasn't...

**Neji**: ...

**Sasuke**: Forget about it.

**Neji**: ...

**Kakashi**: Think about something interesting!

**Neji**: ...

**Lumberry** (dramatic stage-whisper) He's still in shock.

**Neji**: ...O.O...

**Kakashi**: I got it!

**Neji**: ...

**Naruto**: What? What is it?

**Neji**: ...

**Kakashi**: Think about Ichi I -

**Neji**: ...

**Shizune**: Shut up!!

**Neji**: ...

**Lumberry**: Hey, you're not supposed to appear until the -

**Neji**: ...

**Shizune**: Oop. (disappears.)

**Neji**: ...Hn.

**Lumberry**: He TALKS!!

**Neji**: Hnnnnnnnhnnnn - censoredcensoredcensoredcensoredcensoredcensoredcensoredcensored.

**Naruto**: O.O

**Lumberry**: (throws confetti) (nervously glances at audience) REVIEW!


	3. Sasuke's Shears

HI!!

**Nejireno**: Shut up.

**Lumberry**: Hahaha. Nejireno. Hahahaha.

**Neji**: ...

* * *

Neji furiously took off his dinosaur suit and glared at them. They gasped. Neji had beautiful, shining brown locks that were literally hard to look at.

"Wh-whoa!" Naruto and Lumberry exclaimed. Sasuke started hyperventilating.

"What?" asked Neji, but he had a well-known smirk on.

"Is your hair, like, made of plastic?" gaped Naruto.

"Of course not!" snapped Nejireno. "It's perfectly - " His eyes narrowed. "Aren't you supposed to audition next?" He pointed to the pink-suited director, his hair slightly swaying. Sasuke breathed in huge mouthfuls of air. "Record now!" demanded the Nejireno.

"Y-yes, Neji...reno."

Naruto fidgeted. "W-wait," he stammered, "Your hair...It's, um - "

"What? Beautiful? Pulchritudinous? Luuurvely?

Astounding?

Magnificent?

Omniscient?

Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiny?

Well-taken care of?

Beyootious?

Fy-y-yine?

Pleasing?

Wonderful?

Fantabulous?

Extraordinary?

Incredibble-dibble?

Comely?

Fair?

Seemly?

Attractive?

Handsome?

Eggcellent?

Admiring?

Enjoyable?

Amazing?

Stunning?

Shocking pink?

Bewildering?

Splendiddle?

Noble?

Sublime?

Intricate?

Simple?

Lavishly awesome, sumptuous, opulent, exquisite"

Sublime?

Gorgeousprincelygrand?

Ostentatious?

Dazzling?

Impressive in its brilliance?

Radiant?

Outstanding?

Magnifico (Italian)?

Nádherný(Czech)?

Schitterend (Dutch)?

Muhteşem (Turkish)?

Pui - "

"IT LOOKS GIRLY!" laughed Sasuke hysterically, who produced a pair of shears and ran around with them. "IT LOOKS LIKE A FREAKING BLOB OF CRA - "

"You shouldn't be talking," muttered Naruto, while Sasuke ran around in circles with three of Neji's fangirls chasing him with even larger shears, "You hair looks like a freaking ch - "

"That's not the point!" scowled Neji, who effortlessly dodged Sasuke's snipping shears. "You still need to audi - "

Then six things happened at once; the director yelled what sounded like "cut!",

a fangirl latched onto Neji's head waving her shears trying to aim at Sasuke,

who was still running in circles,

Naruto started dancing to his audition,

Lumberry tripped because Sasuke's shears caught her in the heel,

her foot pushed Neji's foot,

which propelled the fangirl on his head and her shears and clip and snip and -

Silence.

Neji's hair fell limply onto the ground.

Okay. That was seven things.

"Uh-oh..." said Lumberry.

"Oh. My. Ramen." stated Naruto.

Sasuke laughed, still in hysterics, "It STILL looks like a blob of sh - "

"AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!" screamed Neji like a girly-man.

"C-cut!" repeated the dazed director, and he hastily pushed the button.

Awkward silence fell.

Everyone stared at the director, who stared nervously behind him at the fangirls who stared bak. He gulped.

"Y-you didn't!" said Lumberry, a hand flying to her mouth. She dropped her violin.

"No way!" cried Naruto, his eyes huge. He was in the middle of a complex dance move. It looked very painful.

Everyone started yelling.

"THE WORLD IS GOING TO END!" screamed Gai-sensei.

_Cricket. Cricket_.

"Pssssssssst. I thought you were entering on the SEVENTH CHAPTER," stage-whispered Lumberry, glaring daggers at him.

"Uh...y-yess, Writeress." He froze in his nice-guy pose.

"Go out the back door!" she whispered.

"H-hai!" Still in his nice-guy pose, the green ninja started sinking into the stage. After approximately three seconds he had disappeared.

_Cricket. Cricket._

"AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" screamed Nejireno like a girly-man, and he stampeded into the girl's bathroom - I mean, the boy's bathroom.

C-cr--rack. Knuckles cracked. Neji's fangirls glared at the director, who was melting in a pink puddle.

"I - I - I'll delete it," stuttered th porr man.

In a nanosecond he was completely submerged under all the fangirls.

"AAAAAAAHHH!!!"

_ - 10 minutes later - _

Kakashi herded the fangirls back to their seats. He had a glittery green hat on that said "DIRECTER."

"Um," said Lumberry. "Aren't you entering on the EIGHTH CHAPTER?"

"The girls need me," he replied simply, and Lumberry rolled her eyes.

"So who's next?" asked our new director, his hands on his waist, surveying the ninjas. His eyes rested briefly on Sasuke's hair. His one eyes twitched.

"HAHAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!" he laughed-snorted, pointing at Sasuke with a crazy expression on his face.

Sasuke didn't movev.

"YOUR HAIR LOOKS LIKE A CHICKEN'S A - "

Sasuke produced another pair of shears, looking murderous.

Kakashi held up his hands. "Sorry, sorry!" As an apology, I'll let you go n-next."

Swiftly he clicked the button to "Record."

"Start!"

* * *

**Sasuke**: I hate this.

**Neji**: You think _you_ hate this?

**Neji**: ...At least those were _special effects_. (pats his hair lovingly. Shudders)

**Naruto/Lumberry**: o.O O.o

**Neji**: What?"

**Naruto**: You voice your opinion!

**Neji**: So?

**Sasuke**: I hate this.

**Lumberry**: Don't hate it. You'll get lots of fangirls.

**Sasuke**: I hate you.

**Kakashi**: (laughs nervously) All's well ends well!

**_Review!!! With chocolate-chip kookies, too!!!!!!_**


	4. The Villanous Pink Hammer

**You Think You Can Dance, Hmm?**

**Chapter Four: Villanous Red Hammer**

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**Lumberry**: Sasuke's turn! This should be interesting! Sasuke, you know -

**Naruto**: (screaming) IT'S ALWAYS SASUKE! MY TURN WAS MESSED UP! IT'S ALWAYS SASUKE-TEME! IT'S ALWAYS -

**Kakashi**: (picks up a hammer) (bonks it on Naruto's yellow head)

**Lumberry**: (continuing) - it's rather easy. You just need to do the foxtro -

**Sasuke**: Over my censored censored body.

**Lumberry**: o.O

**Neji**: Okay then. (smiles) Well, it's good I'm not in this chapter.

**Lumberry**: Technically you are. Technically you're in the bathroom.

**Neji**: The girls'.

**Neji**: I mean, the boys' bathroom.

**Lumberry**: ...correct...Oh, and...

**Naruto:** YOU DON'T FREAKING OWN OR EAT NARUTOS! YOU HEAR ME?! THEY'RE ALL MINE!!!!

**Kakashi**: A Thousand Years of -

**Naruto**: **AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!**

* * *

"Come on, Sasuke," coaxed Kakashi, prodding his student with a finger. "Hurry up and get it over with." 

"Hn. I'm not doing anything."

"It's not _that_ bad."

"I'm not moving."

Kakashi sighed and took out his book. "Sasuke. You can dance better than you think." But his eyes were glued to the pages.

"I'm _not dancing_."

"Yes, you are. That's where you're wrong." In a flash, Kakashi flipped to a picture in Icha Icha. Sasuke turned red. He fainted dead away, as stiff as a board. "That takes care of things."

Kakashi kicked him, one step at a time, one moan at a time, to the center of the stage, and then switched on the button to 'Record.'

They waited. And twitched. And waited. Everyone's eyes grew bloodshot. Finally...

One day, 5 hours, 4618 minutes, and 60,783,184 seconds later, Sasuke moved his pinky toe.

Kakashi hit the 'Stop' button and sighed. "I'll fix this," he muttered, and then disappeared with the video. (And a plan...)

Sasuke twitched again, revitalized, as a dozen fangirls appeared before him, all having pink hair.

"Hi, Sasuke! I'm Sakura-chan 0132!"

He mumbled, "Hn."

"Hello, Sasuke," another said in a more serious, deeper voice. "You may call me Sakura.Blossom.72."

"And I'm Skruan San! I - "

" - Outta the way, bubble gums!" snapped another pink-haired kunoichi. She sucked her thumb nervously. "Dunno why I cloned so many of myself! It's just a pain."

She swiftly killed her clones. "Murder-Sakura no Jutsu!"

After dispelling her technique she went over to Sasuke and started screaming. "Your nose is bleeding!"

At this moment Kakashi intervened, materialized with a hammer, and bonked her on her pink head. He was also carrying a photo of Sasuke being eaten by alligators. Oh, and Ichi Icha.

"There. That ought to keep her until Chapter Thirty," he said pleasantly.

Lumberry blinked. "And where are _you_ supposed to be?!"

He smiled nervously.

"ITACHI!!"

Kakashi screamed like the girly man he was and disappeared. His book fell. Itachi picked it up and started to nosebleed

"Um...since Sakura's gone, and Sasuke is dying right now...you can go next and I'll record."

Itachi looked at her eagerly. "Si! Me gusta bailar."

"..."

* * *

**Lumberry**: Good, right?! 

**Neji**: (munching on a cookie) Good.

**Naruto**: (grinning) _That_ was good!

**Kakashi**: Awesome. I got to use my new red hammer.

**Itachi**: Si! Es Phenomenal.

**Rock Lee**: That was youthful!

**Lumberry**: You _aren't_ supposed to come out until the - oh, wait. You're not supposed to come out at all. Guards!

**Guard A**: (whacks Rock Lee on the head)

**Guard** **B**: (whacks Guard A on the head) Oops.

**Lumberry**: Whatever. That's taken care of.

**Guard C**: (dies randomly)

**Lumberry**: Anyway...See? Good feedback! XD Thanks, guys. I really appr -

**Sasuke**/**Sakura**: WE HATE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**Lumberry**: (mildly) Oh, that was just a blooper. Here, let me click on the next -

**Sasuke**/**Sakura**: WE HATE YOU!!!!!!!!!! FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**Lumberry**: The next, then. (clicks)

**Gaara**: I hate you.

**Lumberry**: Argh, you're not supposed to come out until the sixth chapter -

**Gaara**: (rips off mask)

**Sasuke**: I HATE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**Lumberry**: Whatever. (Takes out a piece of paper) Here's the list of dancers. Obviously some already went...

Number 1. Nejireno.

Number 2: Narutreno.

Number 3: Sasukereno.

**Naruto**: Why do they all have 'reno's?!

**Neji**: In honor of me, of course. I am the Honorable Daughter - I mean, son - of the Honorable Hokage - I mean, Hiashi.

**Hinata**: Don't you mean Hizashi?

**Neji**: Whatever. Same dif.

**Lumberry**: And so on...

Number Four: Itachireno

Number Five: Sakurareno.

**Kakashi**: But she's dead right now, so I'll go in for her!

Number Five: _Kakashir_eno.

Number Six: Gaarareno.

**Gaarareno**: Good. I love my new name.

**Lumberry**: Well, it is very pretty!

**Gaarareno**: Also, Mr. Sandman.

**Gaarereno**: But I can't be called that.

**Naruto**: Why not? It suits you perfectly fine.

**Gaarareno**: Because...

**Lumberry**: Because what?

**Kakashi**: What?

**Itachi**: Que?

**Kakashi**: EEP. (disappears)

**Naruto**: Why-y-y?

**Gaarareno**: B-because...

**Naruto**: WHAT?

**Kakashi**: (reappears) Spit it out.

**Itachi**: QUE?

**Kakashi**: EEEEEEEEP! (disappears)

Gaarareno: (on verge of speaking)

_All lean closer._

**Gaarareno**: Because...

_Music starts playing. A-bam,a-vum._

**Gaarareno**: 'Cuz he's a cold-hearted snake, uh huh, oh yeah! (does a Gai-sensei pose and starts shrieking head off)

**Lumberry**: Um...

Number Seven: Kankurou-dono

**Naruto**: Huh?!

**Lumberry**: ARGH, I _told_ you not to interrupt!!!

**Naruto**: eep.

**Neji**: 'Dono' means 'miss' in English. I don't think that's quite right.

**Lumberry**: Oh...thanks.

**Naruto**: ...

Number Seven: I mean, Kankuroureno. What a mouthful! -

Number Eight:

**Naruto**: Rhymes with lay them stra -

**Sasuke**: Rhymes with accentuate. Accelereate. Donate. Blood. _Now._

**Naruto**/**Kakashi**/**Lumberry**/**Sakura**: o.O

**Itachi**: O.**o**

**Lumberry**: Anyway...

Number Eight: -

**Itachi**: Estoy cansada.

**Lumberry**: Cansado.

**Itachi**: Cansada.

**Naruto**: Huh?

**Neji**: ...

**Sasuke**: Great. Now I have a sister.

--

--

--

**Glossary - For those of you (like MeeWee) who don't know Japanese :) I'm still learning, myself!**

**Teme** - um, bastard.

**Foxtrot** - waltz like dance. At least, I _think_ it's waltz like. But whatever.

**Naruto** - swirly thing in ramen. Very edible.

**Ichi** **Icha** - Kakashi's...make-out book...

**Muder**-**Sakura** **no** **Jutsu** - Murder Sakura Technique. Very useful.

**Si**! **Me** **gusta** **bailar!** - Yes! I like to dance! (In Spanish)

**Que?** - What?

**Es** **phenomenal!** - It was phenomenal! For those of you who don't speak SAT, it means "it was awesome!"

**Estoy** **cansada.** - I am tired. Feminine. (aka Itachi)

**Estoy** **cansado.** - I am tired. Masculine.

**Baka** - idiot

**Review** - What do you _think_ it means, baka?!!?!

**Naruto**: (sweatdrop) Review...


	5. Randomly Random Randomness

**You Think You Can Dance, Hmm?**

**Chapter Five: Randomly Random Randomness**

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**Lumberry**: I can't type (well, I can't type it!! Look at my avatar. I can't type, say, or write his name.) it, so I will refer to him as "NH." You know. It's not in the rules (of the bet) to not refer to him! The rule is not to relate to him, but I can _refer_ to him, _right_? (pretty please, Tori-san, LeePee, MeeWee (nicknames obviously.)

**NH**: I hate my name.

**Lumberry**: You can't! And I'm not even supposed to be talking to you, since the bet thing lasts until 12:44 tomorrow (in real life, seriously XD)...if they knew...

**NH**: Okay. (disappears until Chapter Six)

**Lumberry**: I'm sorry, fangirls.

**September** **Rhyme**: ARGH!!! NOW I HAVE TO FIND - (NH!) (runs off angrily)

**Lumberry**: ...We might as well continue...

* * *

"It's your turn, Itachi," yawned Lumberry; to her surprise he was already on the stage. "Oh, good. Ready? One...two - " 

"TRES!" yelled Itachi, and magically danced with three chipmunks.

_Three hours later..._

"There!" snapped Lumberry. "STOP!!"

"No; es mi occupacion!" Itachi yelled back, dancing.

_Two years later..._

"Are you done yet...?"

Itachi couldn't think of any more dances, so he started to tell jokes.

(Translated roughly in English)

Three man were lost in heaven. The God there told them they could live if they passed a trial; the first step was to collect ten pieces of the same fruit.

They went their separate ways.

The first came back, "I brought ten apples." The God then said quickly, "Shove them up - "

"Oh, shut up!" shouted all the other ninjas. "We're waiting!"

Itachi waited deliberately before continuing, "To shove the apple up his butt - "

They all screamed.

_To be continued...with or without further notice._

* * *

**Jiraiya**: Hey, that was actually pretty funny. I can't wait to find out what the punchline is! 

**Lumberry**: WHICH CHAPTER are you supposed to be coming in?!!??!?

**Jiraiya**: Never mind, but I -

**Tsunade**: (Comes, drags him out.) Stay, doggy!

**Itachi**: Me gusta tus calcetines.

**Tsunade**: Thanks!

**Sasuke**: This is so stupid. (starts chasing his tail around)

**Itachi**: Me no gusta mi hermana!

**Jiraiya**: (from the window) Please continue!

**Itachi**: Si, si! (Translated roughly in English)

So the God said "You have to shove them up your butt without any expression on your face at all, or I will kill you without any mercy."

The first apple went in...but on the second one he grimaced, and was killed.

**Tsunade**: What a dirty joke! IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT, JIRAIYA!

**Jiraiya**: Eep. (starts running)

**Itachi**: (continuing, translated in English) ... The second one came and showed ten tiny berries. When the God explained, the second person thought it was going to be easy. 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9... he burst out laughing and was killed.

**Tsunade**: COME BACK HERE, YOU DIRTY OLD MAN!

**Jiraiya**: AHHHHH!!

**Tsunade**: (beats him to a pulp)

**Itachi**: (continues serenely) The first guy and the second met where No Human Has Ever Gone Before and the first asked, "Why did you laugh when you almost got away with it?"

**Jiraiya**: (moans, then stays still)

**Itachi**: (translated in English)

The second replied, "I couldn't help it, I saw the third guy coming with pineapples."

**Gai**-**sensei**: I have a wonderful joke, too; it's wonderful for wonderful youthfulness!

(takes out his joke book, much like copied from the Copy Ninja) Three Sakuras died and found themselves standing before Kamisama. She told them that before they could enter the Place Where No Human Has Ever Gone, they had to tell her what Easter was.

The first Sakura said, "Easter is a holiday where they have a big feast and we give thanks and eat turkey."

Kamisama said, "Nooooooooo!" and she banished her to hell.

The second Sakura said, "Easter is when we exchange gifts."

Kamisama said, "Noooooooo!" and she banished her to hell.

**Tsunade**: I'm really bored now. (punches Jiraya one last time)

**Gai**-**sensei**: The third Sakura said, "Easter is a Christian holiday in America that coincides with the Jewish festival of Passover. Jesus was having a Passover feast with His disciples when he was betrayed by Judas, and the Romans arrested him. The Romans hung Him on the cross and eventually He died. Then they buried Him in a tomb behind a very large boulder."

Kamisama said, "Veeerrrrrrry good."

Then the pink-haired kunoichi continued, "Now every year the Jews roll away the boulder and Jesus comes out. If he sees his shadow, we have six more weeks of shogi."

Kamisama fainted.

**Tsunade**: I'm bored. We should make a random list!

**Lumberry**: Yah! Like, make fifty different E-mail accounts on the same E-mail service.

**Tsunade**: Slap yourself in the face! It's good practice.

**Random** **history** **teacher**: Run around your neighbor yelling 'The British are coming!'

**Sasuke**: In the middle of a serious conversation, announce what color your underwear is.

**Lumberry**: o.O

**Naruto**: This is interesting! Make a time machine and go back to the time right before the machine was finished and break it.

**Itachi**: (translated in English) Stare at the sun through a telescope. Die, you fool!

**Jiraiya**: Put a chicken patty in the microwave for 15 minutes and see what happens.

**Jiraiya**: Say Jiggly chiggly in an Italian accent.

**Tsunade**: WIN THE LOTTERY!!! Oh, if I only could!

**Naruto**: There's a reason why you're the Big Sucker, you know.

**Moegi**: (pops up) Eat a Barbie's head. Or play tennis!

**Her** **doll**: Wrap a chicken in toilet paper and pretend he's Sasuke.

**Sasuke**: (snarls) Put Ketchup in a sock and hit someone with it! (hits the doll)

**Jiraiya**: (dreamily) Go up to a random person at the store and give them a signed picture of you, telling them that you will remember them when you are famous one day.

**A** **random** **cooking** **nin**: Pretend you're having a nightmare while eating a pumpkin.

**Another** **cooking** **nin**: Orgo to a fast food drive-thru and when they say 'May I take your order?' say very loudly ''I'M NOT HUNGRY AND NO YOU MAY NOT TAKE MY ORDER IT'S MINE! MY ORDER!'' then drive off.

**Itachi**: (translated in English) Kill your clan.

**Sasori**: (crawls in with a fake fur coat) Call somebody at night, say something scary about creepy people outside looking in windows, then go to their house and ring their doorbell.

**Deidara**: Eat earwax...Eat mashed potatoes and pudding together.

**A Dreamer on Drugs**: Stare at one of those strobe light things for a really long time.

**Jiraiya**: This is what you ladies should do! Go to a fancy restaurant wearing a bikini.

**Tsunade**: (pokes him constantly)

**Sakura**: Eat something that makes you hyper then act really really crazy.

**TenTen**: (stares at NH) Turn off the sound on your T.V. and make your own dialogue.

**Gaara**: Eat a box of cookies and then see how many calories it had.

**PoeticFrenzy**: Tap dance with leprechauns.

**Itachi**: (translated in English) Give someone an evil look. Watch them say 'What?'

**Lumberry**: Take a picture of your right elbow.

**Naruto**: Spin around really fast for a minute and jump in the air.

**Ino**: Go to the nearest forest and search for unicorns.

**Ino's** **clone**: Now say, "Awwww!"

**NinjaGirl5845**: Hug yourself.

**Sasuke**: Learn how to say curse words in other languages.

**Rock** **Lee**: Yell 'Whazzup!' really loud and see what the people will possibly do.

**Kakashi**: Fill a glass with ice and watch it melt.

**Pein**: Say "scissors" like "skizzers."

**Kurenai**: Find some little kid's homework and try to do it...

**Inspira748**: Try to fight a shark with a spork.

**Sasuke**: Decide to become emo, because it's perfectly NORMAL.

**Gai**-**sensei**: Try not to think about hippos.

**Deidara**: (loudly) Paint my fingernails.

**Fallenangel**-**vamp**: Put a plastic bag over your head and try not to pass out.

**Kisame**: Try to scratch your eye. Bet you can't!

**NH**: Wear a turkey on your head and yell "The aliens are coming! The aliens are coming!" in a very high-pitched voice.

**Lumberry**: o.O

**Lumberry**: I got one! Sleep with your eyes open.

**Kakashi**: Take a shower. Take one again! This makes you manly.

**Itachi**: (trans. in eng.) Close your eyes and push on them, and a cool color show will come!

**Kakashi**: That's how you became near-sighted!

**Sasuke**: Carry around an umbrella while it's not raining and skip.

**Sakura**:: Make a voodoo doll of yourself and stab it in the foot.

**Sasuke**: Make fun of your pets and tell them how dumb they are.

**Sakura**: WHA!!! That's not nice.

**Pyro666**: Make a restaurant called KFD: Kentucky Fried Demons.

**The** **Black** **Rose's** **Only** **Thorn**: Buy a bag of Skittles and scatter them to random ninja shouting 'Taste the rainbow!'

**Itachi**: (trans. in eng.) Try switching please and thank you around. This will make you polite like meee!!

**Ish**: Speak Egyptian.

**September** **Rhyme**: See how celery and marshmallows taste mixed together.

**Lumberry: **ALMOST last but not least! Put your pinky in a pencil sharpener.

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**_Glossary:_**

**_Es mi occupacion: It's my occupation!_**

**_Me gusta tus calcetines: I like your socks._**

**_Mi hermana: My sister. Notice that ITACHI says this!!_**

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**All humans plus Rock Lee:** And lastly**_: REVIEW!_**


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